I was with my friend Andrew in the campus coffee shop earlier today, looking at the various options I had for cold drinks. I was thirsty, you see, and delicious as coffee is, I just didn't feel like downing a hot one on a warm fall day (in spite of the fact that it's over 80 degrees outside, I want my readers to acknowledge that it has, in fact, been fall since September 22).
So I saw the Aquafina and the water and the smoothie list, and noticed that Aquafina costs $1.25 where water costs $1.00. Thinking that I had missed the day where Aquafina stopped being water, I looked at the drink case and saw that the Aquafina was all of the flavor splash variety. Well, that explained it, I thought, but Andrew told me that he sees Aquafina as pure evil.
And somehow this brought us to the topic of parallel universes. I believe the train of thought went something like this: why the hate toward Aquafina, did Aquafina kill his dad, maybe in a parallel universe.
Yes. That's it.
And so my wonderings were fixed on parallel universes. It's incredible, that when we say to ourselves "anything's possible," we don't really mean it, because we believe that there's a certain amount of rationality to anything in the universe, even those things that seem completely irrational. In a parallel universe, I am equivalent to this universe's Indiana Jones. And I'm probably fighting the evil corporation of Aquafina for killing Andrew's dad.
Or maybe I'm actually the operative from Aquafina that killed Andrew's dad. My conscience is unphased by this act, which the me that's typing this is completely against, and I'm setting traps for the unassuming Andrew to fall into. Or we could look at a different universe where Andrew knows that I'm laying traps for him, and he eventually makes it to where I am and kills me. Gosh, that'd suck.
I'm sure there are plenty of parallel universes where I'm a homeless guy, too. Maybe there are a handful where I dance and sing for food on some corner in New York because I couldn't make it as a line dancer and that was my lifelong dream. In that other universe.
On the same token, there have to be plenty of universes (much like this one) where I'm just this normal guy who isn't Indiana Jones, or an incredibly powerful businessman, or a hobo. And I'm just trying to find my way in life. Maybe I'm happier. Maybe I'm not happier. One of the bitter ironies, of course, would be that in some other universe, I might have everything that I want in this universe, and still not be happy. Or it would actually be making me unhappy.
The really tricky thing about thinking in terms of infinite universes is that just because there are infinite opportunities for something to happen... doesn't necessarily mean that it actually ever does. Are there some factors of existence that are true in absolutely every reality? By that same token, are there some things in all of existence that have absolute no chance of happening?
Are there some things, some people, some places, some events, that are completely unique, only seen just one single time, in one universe, in one instance, for one little blip of eternity?
The more important question is... how do we react when we experience those things that will never be seen by anybody else, ever, in this or any other existence?
Sunday, September 30
Friday, September 28
My iPod's been Shanghaied
Literally. It's been shipped from Shanghai today. This is possibly the worst piece of news I could get this week. Muuh...
Thursday, September 27
Goodness, I feel miserable.
My feeling miserable has nothing to do with that. I just like it for its stupidity.
No, I feel terrible because I have a headache, I'm having hot flashes (which the hoodie seems to have a dissipating effect on, ironically), and I had threesies on the toilet five times today. I know, it's an uncomfortable thought, but more uncomfortable is having to deal with it.
I went to the doctor's office today, for three reasons: first, my toenail, which was ingrown at the end of last semester, cut out, and is now growing in... ingrown. Second, the threesies. And third, these incredibly frequent bouts of dizziness I've been having recently, which have usually been accompanied by a headache in some region of my skull, and was disturbingly close to my brain stem yesterday. The doctor gave me a prescription for antibiotics for the toenail, and told me that the dizziness couldn't be resolved until we got the toenail and the threesies under control. I feel like that makes sense, since an infection can affect every part of your body, and dehydration can lead to a vast array of noggin-related symptoms. So tomorrow I go to get that prescription filled out, and I get everything else straightened out, too.
Oh, and my iPod had better be here, if FedEx knows what's good for it.
Wednesday, September 26
Nobody likes reporters.
News and revelations have a very interesting paradigm all their own. It's strange, being on the receiving end of bad news. I really like how Lemony Snicket put it when he compared it to climbing a staircase in complete darkness: Your foot reaches for one more step than there actually is, and there's a sickly feeling of dark surprise as your foot plunges through the air.
Mr. Snicket was, of course, referring to the death of a loved one, but I feel that in my experience the same sensation is experienced from many other kinds of news, not necessarily even pertaining to loved ones. Maybe you come home one day to find that your house has been robbed, or the check you sent to last month's electric bill bounced. Maybe you receive an e-mail that very quickly thrusts five very large tasks at you, all of which require your immediate attention. Maybe you turn on the TV one day and see reporters saying that they believe the gunshot came from the Texas School Book Depository, or that the second plane hit within the same hour as the first.
Regardless of the details, sometimes the sheer instant nature of news makes it feel like it's hitting you harder than any bus ever could. We often refer to such news as "life-changing." We're absolutely sure that this new tidbit of information is going to alter how we see and act forever.
I think the bigger news, though, is something that nobody ever really tells you: most of the big, life-changing news we hear... usually only ever affects 5% of our life, and that is a generous yield on my part. Yes, being robbed sucks, but how much of "I'll never feel safe in my own home again" is just feeling? When we find out about bad stuff, and when there's still a bit of light on the subject, I think we attribute too much feeling to our shellshock. And that can really be a dangerous motivation for your actions. It rushes you into decisions you might not have made if you just never heard the news to begin with. And a few weeks down the road, what's going to have the bigger sting: the old news, or the decision you pushed on yourself?
September 26th... happy anniversary.
Mr. Snicket was, of course, referring to the death of a loved one, but I feel that in my experience the same sensation is experienced from many other kinds of news, not necessarily even pertaining to loved ones. Maybe you come home one day to find that your house has been robbed, or the check you sent to last month's electric bill bounced. Maybe you receive an e-mail that very quickly thrusts five very large tasks at you, all of which require your immediate attention. Maybe you turn on the TV one day and see reporters saying that they believe the gunshot came from the Texas School Book Depository, or that the second plane hit within the same hour as the first.
Regardless of the details, sometimes the sheer instant nature of news makes it feel like it's hitting you harder than any bus ever could. We often refer to such news as "life-changing." We're absolutely sure that this new tidbit of information is going to alter how we see and act forever.
I think the bigger news, though, is something that nobody ever really tells you: most of the big, life-changing news we hear... usually only ever affects 5% of our life, and that is a generous yield on my part. Yes, being robbed sucks, but how much of "I'll never feel safe in my own home again" is just feeling? When we find out about bad stuff, and when there's still a bit of light on the subject, I think we attribute too much feeling to our shellshock. And that can really be a dangerous motivation for your actions. It rushes you into decisions you might not have made if you just never heard the news to begin with. And a few weeks down the road, what's going to have the bigger sting: the old news, or the decision you pushed on yourself?
September 26th... happy anniversary.
Tuesday, September 25
Today pretty much rocks.
Last night, I got an email from UNL on the subject of transferring and enrolling. Well, the email was mostly about the Math Placement Exam I need to take at the New Student Enrollment day I'll be attending, but it did catch my intrigue, being the first time I heard news of even needing to attend a New Student Enrollment day. So I did some digging on the subject, and it turns out that in preparation for one of the four dates they have for new students to enroll (10/19/2007, 11/16/2007 12/14/2007, and 1/10/2008), I need to pay them $150 and $10 for each guest on this enrollment day, decide on 6 or 7 courses I would like to register for, fill out a health profile that describes my immunizations and such, and take the aforementioned Math Placement Exam. This is funtime, because it means that I'm very likely to need still more math credits once I get to UNL, and I have no clue what classes I'll need to take, nor do I have any idea what my immunization record is like. The upshot of this is that I'm going to be missing class on the 19th.
In other news, I sent a second email to Fred #6, who sent the previous reply to me, calling me a little girl. That message, and the correspondence henceforth, can be seen here. It feels as though that might be the last I hear from Fred #6 regarding my question about the Minneapolis bridge, but it was a good test of my argumentative skills, and of my patience with difficult people. Yeay.
More glorious than that, though, is the news that my iPod Touch, originally thought to be shipping from a warehouse on Friday and arriving here next Tuesday, has in fact shipped this Tuesday and is set to arrive here this Friday.
I was so excited at the news of this, that I ran to the Perry so that I could tell somebody. I didn't run into anybody who knew how eagerly I was anticipating this baby's delivery, but rest assured the labor had me gasping for a good long time after the fact.
And so now we come to this afternoon, in which it would behoove me to both exercise and to read the news on my Wii. The exercise is important because I need to exercise, and the news-reading is really only for my photojournalism and American Government classes. I don't think anybody ever gets any real benefit from reading the news.
In other news, I sent a second email to Fred #6, who sent the previous reply to me, calling me a little girl. That message, and the correspondence henceforth, can be seen here. It feels as though that might be the last I hear from Fred #6 regarding my question about the Minneapolis bridge, but it was a good test of my argumentative skills, and of my patience with difficult people. Yeay.
More glorious than that, though, is the news that my iPod Touch, originally thought to be shipping from a warehouse on Friday and arriving here next Tuesday, has in fact shipped this Tuesday and is set to arrive here this Friday.
I was so excited at the news of this, that I ran to the Perry so that I could tell somebody. I didn't run into anybody who knew how eagerly I was anticipating this baby's delivery, but rest assured the labor had me gasping for a good long time after the fact.
And so now we come to this afternoon, in which it would behoove me to both exercise and to read the news on my Wii. The exercise is important because I need to exercise, and the news-reading is really only for my photojournalism and American Government classes. I don't think anybody ever gets any real benefit from reading the news.
Fred #6 and Me
Fred #6
Hello little girl. Do your parents know you're playing on the computer?
Every calamity in this land today is a direct result of the proud arrogant sin of this doomed fag-enabling nation. But then you already knew that.
The more important thing to know about all bridges and all highways in Doomed & Perverted america is this: They exist for one reason, and one reason only, to wit, so the saints of God can travel them to bring to the eyes and ears of this entire land GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, GOD IS YOUR TERRORIST, and similar prophesies. The very instant we are done with that job, this place is going to melt with a fervent heat, every bridge and highway will crumble or dissolve before your eyes, and all you little smartalecks will be looking for a place to hide. It'll be too late then.
No one will be able to stand before the White Throne who lived in Our Day and claim they didn't hear the words. On a very rare occasion our message will reach the heart of one of God's little sheep, and they will rejoice and be healed. The rest of this dark-hearted land will become furious, and be hardened in their resolve against the King. By that means, the highways and bridges are an important instrument in condemning every Doomed american -- including you.
As for keeping your "family" healthy, that's an easy one Jughead Josh -- OBEY GOD! See how nicely that works? :-) Magormissabib.
My Reply
Yeah, my parents know I'm on my computer. It doesn't bother them, seeing as I bought it with my graduation money and am an adult.
And I know this might be one of those sugar-coated liespeaks you openly hate, but it's my belief that everything in this world happens for a reason, be it that God wants us to learn from our pain or that he wants us to be happy in our successes. I can only hope that holding this belief doesn't mean I'm going to Hell.
And this was a really long next paragraph of yours, but I think the gist of it is that the Minnesota Bridge collapsed because you were done with it? And that grieving families can legally file lawsuits against you because you're accepting the blame?
Also, how can the bridges first crumble and then be an instrument in condemning us? Isn't that a bit like having your cake, and eating it too?
Oh, and so "no" to the multivitamins?
Thanks,
Josh
Fred #6
You are so foolish. You really think this is about you. Stop all that psychobabble, get a Bible and read it. You are acting like a 3-year-old on matters pertaining to your never-dying soul. You've demonstrated yourself to be a base lass. You have access to all our words, so you must go into the delete column. You have enough intellect -- which God gave you, you fool, you didn't generate it yourself -- so that you will be without excuse. Now get over yourself, get a Bible, read it, obey it, and through all that process close your mouth firmly shut. Magormissabib.
Me again
You like to make what are called "strawman arguments," in which you make the claim that somebody has a stance that they actually make no indication of having at all. You also like to call people names, which I could say is mudslinging, but I can predict that your argument in that case would be along the lines of "You're already so covered in mud by your own sin that I couldn't possibly make you any dirtier;" instead, I'll relegate you to your own comment about me acting like a three year-old and ask, which of the two of us has already called the other four names?
And as far as the Bible goes, I really like when Moses compared the universe to a tapestry, and God to the tapestry-weaver, and all of us as the individual threads in the tapestry. The message there really stuck with me and got me through some hard times. As did the message of Ecclesiastes, that there's a time for everything in this world, be it joy (like when a baby is born into the world) or grief (like, say, when a bridge collapses). See, some things in this world aren't necessarily punishment for things that we've done, and that isn't made up. Just look at Job: Blameless in the eyes of the Lord, and yet he had everything taken from him.
And true, God never says that he himself loves everybody, but what did Jesus say were the two most important commandments for humanity to keep? I know that God can do whatever he wants (of course, Hank Hanegraaff makes the scripturally-supported argument that there are three things that God can not do), but should we as people not obey the commandments, especially those that the Christ tells us are the two most important?
Josh
Hello little girl. Do your parents know you're playing on the computer?
Every calamity in this land today is a direct result of the proud arrogant sin of this doomed fag-enabling nation. But then you already knew that.
The more important thing to know about all bridges and all highways in Doomed & Perverted america is this: They exist for one reason, and one reason only, to wit, so the saints of God can travel them to bring to the eyes and ears of this entire land GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, GOD IS YOUR TERRORIST, and similar prophesies. The very instant we are done with that job, this place is going to melt with a fervent heat, every bridge and highway will crumble or dissolve before your eyes, and all you little smartalecks will be looking for a place to hide. It'll be too late then.
No one will be able to stand before the White Throne who lived in Our Day and claim they didn't hear the words. On a very rare occasion our message will reach the heart of one of God's little sheep, and they will rejoice and be healed. The rest of this dark-hearted land will become furious, and be hardened in their resolve against the King. By that means, the highways and bridges are an important instrument in condemning every Doomed american -- including you.
As for keeping your "family" healthy, that's an easy one Jughead Josh -- OBEY GOD! See how nicely that works? :-) Magormissabib.
My Reply
Yeah, my parents know I'm on my computer. It doesn't bother them, seeing as I bought it with my graduation money and am an adult.
And I know this might be one of those sugar-coated liespeaks you openly hate, but it's my belief that everything in this world happens for a reason, be it that God wants us to learn from our pain or that he wants us to be happy in our successes. I can only hope that holding this belief doesn't mean I'm going to Hell.
And this was a really long next paragraph of yours, but I think the gist of it is that the Minnesota Bridge collapsed because you were done with it? And that grieving families can legally file lawsuits against you because you're accepting the blame?
Also, how can the bridges first crumble and then be an instrument in condemning us? Isn't that a bit like having your cake, and eating it too?
Oh, and so "no" to the multivitamins?
Thanks,
Josh
Fred #6
You are so foolish. You really think this is about you. Stop all that psychobabble, get a Bible and read it. You are acting like a 3-year-old on matters pertaining to your never-dying soul. You've demonstrated yourself to be a base lass. You have access to all our words, so you must go into the delete column. You have enough intellect -- which God gave you, you fool, you didn't generate it yourself -- so that you will be without excuse. Now get over yourself, get a Bible, read it, obey it, and through all that process close your mouth firmly shut. Magormissabib.
Me again
You like to make what are called "strawman arguments," in which you make the claim that somebody has a stance that they actually make no indication of having at all. You also like to call people names, which I could say is mudslinging, but I can predict that your argument in that case would be along the lines of "You're already so covered in mud by your own sin that I couldn't possibly make you any dirtier;" instead, I'll relegate you to your own comment about me acting like a three year-old and ask, which of the two of us has already called the other four names?
And as far as the Bible goes, I really like when Moses compared the universe to a tapestry, and God to the tapestry-weaver, and all of us as the individual threads in the tapestry. The message there really stuck with me and got me through some hard times. As did the message of Ecclesiastes, that there's a time for everything in this world, be it joy (like when a baby is born into the world) or grief (like, say, when a bridge collapses). See, some things in this world aren't necessarily punishment for things that we've done, and that isn't made up. Just look at Job: Blameless in the eyes of the Lord, and yet he had everything taken from him.
And true, God never says that he himself loves everybody, but what did Jesus say were the two most important commandments for humanity to keep? I know that God can do whatever he wants (of course, Hank Hanegraaff makes the scripturally-supported argument that there are three things that God can not do), but should we as people not obey the commandments, especially those that the Christ tells us are the two most important?
Josh
Monday, September 24
My love affair with the Westboro Baptist Church
Found in a publication by the Westboro Baptist Church (?)
Do all bridges that fall do so because of homosexuality, or just the Minneapolis bridge? Also, I'm looking for an economic way to keep my family healthy. Do you recommend multivitamins or condemnation of homosexuals?
Josh
Their response to me:
Hello little girl. Do your parents know you're playing on the computer?
Every calamity in this land today is a direct result of the proud arrogant sin of this doomed fag-enabling nation. But then you already knew that.
The more important thing to know about all bridges and all highways in Doomed & Perverted america is this: They exist for one reason, and one reason only, to wit, so the saints of God can travel them to bring to the eyes and ears of this entire land GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, GOD IS YOUR TERRORIST, and similar prophesies. The very instant we are done with that job, this place is going to melt with a fervent heat, every bridge and highway will crumble or dissolve before your eyes, and all you little smartalecks will be looking for a place to hide. It'll be too late then.
No one will be able to stand before the White Throne who lived in Our Day and claim they didn't hear the words. On a very rare occasion our message will reach the heart of one of God's little sheep, and they will rejoice and be healed. The rest of this dark-hearted land will become furious, and be hardened in their resolve against the King. By that means, the highways and bridges are an important instrument in condemning every Doomed american --
including you.
As for keeping your "family" healthy, that's an easy one Jughead Josh -- OBEY GOD! See how nicely that works? :-)
Magormissabib.
From this, I draw seven (and therefore holy) revelations:
1) Girls now have penises.
2) Structural instability in modern engineering is not the product of faulty materials or wear-and-tear. Rather, we can all do our part in keeping things from breaking by not touching ourselves at night.
3) The highway and interstate system of America was never intended for quick deployment of our military in the event of an attack on our soil, much to Eisenhower's chagrin.
4) The Minnesota bridge collapsed because Westboro Baptist Church was done using it.
5) Sarcasm has no place in the Kingdom of God.
6) The highways will rise against us when they become self-aware.
7) No on the multivitamins.
Sunday, September 23
It's not every day you have a day this bad.
I'm currently sitting in work-study and listening to Switchfoot (I finally got The Beautiful Letdown after turning 20, meaning that I now have all six studio albums Switchfoot's released so far). Funny story about listening to Switchfoot. As I was doing so, a girl asked me for help, which prompted me to get up, and since my MP3 player was in my lap, it hit the ground with a very satisfying thud.
I would be doing something more productive than listening to music today. It was my plan to do so since I woke up. But when I started to look for my backpack earlier this afternoon, I realized that it wasn't in my room. Which means that it's in one of infinite places that aren't my room. Hopefully, though, the thing and the $200 worth of textbooks inside it are safely in the Student Leadership Office (which happens to be closed on Sundays) or in the last classroom I had it (which happens to be locked on days when there isn't a class in it). Either way, I'm very certainly not going to get my homework done for my gauntlet tomorrow.
Speaking of homework, I also have a "portrait" due in photojournalism tomorrow night. To clarify what a portrait is, it's a photograph of somebody which tells a story of some important facet of their persona. It was my idea that I would go down to the local thrift shop and get a shot of the woman who runs the place. She seems like a nice old lady, and plus I got a kickin' Hamtaro lunchbox from that place for only a quarter... You'll never guess what's closed on Sundays. Go on, guess.
And I'm not complaining, but does anyone else ever talk to somebody online and then get a phone call from them, without having a clue as to how your number made it into their posession?
Oh, the decision of whether I get my iPod Touch now or in October has also been made for me: Best Buy is out of them, and there's very little way in Heck I'm going to ask somebody to drive me to Omaha so that I can make a $318 purchase. I know that it's selfish to be bitter about something like this, but jeez... I really wanted this iPod, you know?
I think that just about the only thing I can take solace in this weekend is the fact that I'm on the cusp of finishing writing a song, which will mean that I've written three songs since February. Unfortunately, this is a bittersweet piece of news in and of itself, as it seems like the only time I can really write a song is when I'm experiencing unrequited love, and anybody who's fallen head-over-heels (isn't the head... generally over the heels?) for somebody else can tell you that it's just agony trying to keep all of the feelings inside (hence the songwriting), and not knowing what steps you can possibly take in order to make yourself clear. Worse still... is when you make yourself clear, and you're told that it isn't the right time for them to be in a relationship. Incidentally, this plays into Linger, by The Cranberries (my Switchfoot wrapped up a little bit before writing this half of this paragraph.
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Man, does it suck. Why is it that some things can't have definition? Why do we have to wait for things to take shape? Why am I getting stalker-like phone calls? Why is my backpack going to be locked in a room until it's too late for me to do my homework? Why do I space out and drop my MP3 player on the floor?
September... just sucks.
I would be doing something more productive than listening to music today. It was my plan to do so since I woke up. But when I started to look for my backpack earlier this afternoon, I realized that it wasn't in my room. Which means that it's in one of infinite places that aren't my room. Hopefully, though, the thing and the $200 worth of textbooks inside it are safely in the Student Leadership Office (which happens to be closed on Sundays) or in the last classroom I had it (which happens to be locked on days when there isn't a class in it). Either way, I'm very certainly not going to get my homework done for my gauntlet tomorrow.
Speaking of homework, I also have a "portrait" due in photojournalism tomorrow night. To clarify what a portrait is, it's a photograph of somebody which tells a story of some important facet of their persona. It was my idea that I would go down to the local thrift shop and get a shot of the woman who runs the place. She seems like a nice old lady, and plus I got a kickin' Hamtaro lunchbox from that place for only a quarter... You'll never guess what's closed on Sundays. Go on, guess.
And I'm not complaining, but does anyone else ever talk to somebody online and then get a phone call from them, without having a clue as to how your number made it into their posession?
Oh, the decision of whether I get my iPod Touch now or in October has also been made for me: Best Buy is out of them, and there's very little way in Heck I'm going to ask somebody to drive me to Omaha so that I can make a $318 purchase. I know that it's selfish to be bitter about something like this, but jeez... I really wanted this iPod, you know?
I think that just about the only thing I can take solace in this weekend is the fact that I'm on the cusp of finishing writing a song, which will mean that I've written three songs since February. Unfortunately, this is a bittersweet piece of news in and of itself, as it seems like the only time I can really write a song is when I'm experiencing unrequited love, and anybody who's fallen head-over-heels (isn't the head... generally over the heels?) for somebody else can tell you that it's just agony trying to keep all of the feelings inside (hence the songwriting), and not knowing what steps you can possibly take in order to make yourself clear. Worse still... is when you make yourself clear, and you're told that it isn't the right time for them to be in a relationship. Incidentally, this plays into Linger, by The Cranberries (my Switchfoot wrapped up a little bit before writing this half of this paragraph.
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Man, does it suck. Why is it that some things can't have definition? Why do we have to wait for things to take shape? Why am I getting stalker-like phone calls? Why is my backpack going to be locked in a room until it's too late for me to do my homework? Why do I space out and drop my MP3 player on the floor?
September... just sucks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)