I can't believe I still wake up in the morning.
I have a pain in my left side, and no idea what it is even after going to the doctor.
I'm just writing every complete thought that comes into my mind, so don't worry if I don't connect these together.
Every day I hope for something amazing to happen with the quiet understanding that nothing ever does.
I can count on one hand the most dates I've ever been on with somebody, and I didn't even like the guy.
If I had one wish, it would be that I never met that guy. I'm wholly convinced that's where my life hit its most crucial snag.
I don't read Post Secret because I envy the people who can reveal themselves artistically like that.
I envy a lot of people, mostly people in relationships.
I have been wronged by a lot of different people. I made plans to get even on a few occasions, but never did.
When I tried playing as an evil character in Fallout 3, I physically sickened myself.
I just want somebody to listen.
When I'm in my advertising classes, I hear all of this talk about brand loyalty. It makes me feel weird because I can't think of any brands I always buy over others.
I know a lot of peoples' secrets, but I could never bring myself to tell them.
I feel like an outsider. A lot.
People have made out right next to me on couches, and others have had sex in the same hotel room as me when they thought I was asleep.
I cried for no less than an hour one night while I was home this weekend, and I don't think my parents knew at all.
I pick up on things. I don't know if they're things that other people miss or not.
I see far more in my head than I do in the real world. They're always either dramatic or ridiculous scenarios. When they're dramatic, I hope they happen so that I can do something people will remember. When they're ridiculous, I hope they happen so that others do something I'll remember.
I blocked out the majority of my childhood.
I feel lonely a lot. Even when I'm surrounded by friends, I'm still alone.
When people say they thought about me, I don't believe them.
I really play video games because they let me feel important.
Twice in my life, I have felt like everything was the way it was supposed to be. The second time was when I was in Greg's arms. I can't remember the first.
I struggle with the idea that God has my best interest at heart sometimes.
I can't think of a single person whom I would say understands me.
When I die, the Konami code could be written on my gravestone for the significant role it played in my life.
Earlier in life, I wished my parents would have gotten a divorce. At this point in my life, I couldn't tell you which one I would have hoped to live with.
Nobody did anything to deserve reading this.
Nobody on the Internet believes me when I say I'm single.
There's a strong possibility I'll be lonely for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, January 28
Monday, January 19
Safari's first inconvenience on my life...
http://brian.mastenbrook.net/display/27
Now, out of the fear of getting hijacked from who-knows-who on who-knows-what website, I've screwed with some defaults and my RSS feeds are being handled by the far-inferior Mail app. I knew my first complaint would come, but I didn't think it'd be this bad.
Now, out of the fear of getting hijacked from who-knows-who on who-knows-what website, I've screwed with some defaults and my RSS feeds are being handled by the far-inferior Mail app. I knew my first complaint would come, but I didn't think it'd be this bad.
Wednesday, January 7
Sunday, January 4
These are the anthems, throw one of your hands up.
Alrighty, so I'm borrowing this idea from my friend Justin Shilhanek, who stole this idea from his buddy Brian Hernandez. The gist of it is that if you're somebody who represents themselves with music, you give us a list of fifteen songs that have been strongly impactful for you this year. Like Justin before me, I'm opting to give a clip of the particular lyrics that resonate with me.
It's rather difficult to parse this list down to just fifteen, but here they are in the order they come on my iTunes, here it goes...
1. Chem 6A by Switchfoot
Nothing but a chemical in my head, it's nothing but laziness, 'cause I don't wanna read the book. I'll watch the movie, 'cause it's not me. I'm just like everybody else my age.
2. Topeka by Ludo
I found God in a catalytic converter in Topeka on a Monday night. Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future, so you know what keeps me hanging around. No, you can't keep a good man down.
3. When I Grow Up by Garbage
Trying hard to fit among you, floating out to wonderland. Unprotected, God, I'm pregnant. Damn the consequences.
4. Waiting for My Real Life to Begin by Colin Hay
When I woke today, suddenly nothing happened. But in my dreams, I slew the dragon. And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane. I'm walking in my own footsteps, once again.
5. Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World
You said you'd never have regrets. Jesus! Is there someone yet who got that wish? Did you get yours, babe?
6. 23 by Jimmy Eat World
You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready, holding on tight. Don't give away the end, one thing that stays mine.
7. Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman
Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart? Who holds the stars up in the sky? Is true love just once in a lifetime? Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
8. Thanks That Was Fun by the Barenaked Ladies
Deflated, and jaded. I hate it when you call, which isn't at all. And I've spoken, though broken. Here's a token of my love.
9. Dirty Second Hands by Switchfoot
Are you really as tough as you think? You blink, and you're over the brink. You bleed, but the blood runs pink, with dirty second hands, dirty second hands. You're not quite as tough as you thought, you bought the American rot, the very seed that you thought you'd shot with dirty second hands, dirty second hands. You might be right, the fight might be right inside you, the blind leading the lied-to. Tonight, maybe you bind you with dirty second hands.
10. No Sensitivity by Jimmy Eat World
The world don't spin without you, I'm amazed you're standing still. Taking my kisses back. Yeah, I want my kisses back from you.
11. Money Honey by State of Shock
As I'm staring through this fire, it's too late to make you mine, so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted. And as both of us fall down, we have lost and we have found, so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted. I've made mistakes that I can't erase, I've made mistakes.
12. Please Forgive Me by David Gray
Help me out here, all my words are falling short and there's so much I want to say. Wanna tell you just how good it feels when you look at me that way.
13. Swing Life Away by Rise Against
I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first: let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse. Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words. ALSO: If love is a labor, I'll slave 'til the end.
14. Please by Ludo
Please save this for me. I'll come back for you, love, I promise to. Please save this for me, for until I return. My love will burn, my heart will stay.
15. Steer by Missy Higgins
So hold this feeling like a newborn, all the freedom surging through your veins. You have opened up a new door, so bring on the wind, fire, and rain.
It's rather difficult to parse this list down to just fifteen, but here they are in the order they come on my iTunes, here it goes...
1. Chem 6A by Switchfoot
Nothing but a chemical in my head, it's nothing but laziness, 'cause I don't wanna read the book. I'll watch the movie, 'cause it's not me. I'm just like everybody else my age.
2. Topeka by Ludo
I found God in a catalytic converter in Topeka on a Monday night. Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future, so you know what keeps me hanging around. No, you can't keep a good man down.
3. When I Grow Up by Garbage
Trying hard to fit among you, floating out to wonderland. Unprotected, God, I'm pregnant. Damn the consequences.
4. Waiting for My Real Life to Begin by Colin Hay
When I woke today, suddenly nothing happened. But in my dreams, I slew the dragon. And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane. I'm walking in my own footsteps, once again.
5. Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World
You said you'd never have regrets. Jesus! Is there someone yet who got that wish? Did you get yours, babe?
6. 23 by Jimmy Eat World
You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready, holding on tight. Don't give away the end, one thing that stays mine.
7. Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman
Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart? Who holds the stars up in the sky? Is true love just once in a lifetime? Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
8. Thanks That Was Fun by the Barenaked Ladies
Deflated, and jaded. I hate it when you call, which isn't at all. And I've spoken, though broken. Here's a token of my love.
9. Dirty Second Hands by Switchfoot
Are you really as tough as you think? You blink, and you're over the brink. You bleed, but the blood runs pink, with dirty second hands, dirty second hands. You're not quite as tough as you thought, you bought the American rot, the very seed that you thought you'd shot with dirty second hands, dirty second hands. You might be right, the fight might be right inside you, the blind leading the lied-to. Tonight, maybe you bind you with dirty second hands.
10. No Sensitivity by Jimmy Eat World
The world don't spin without you, I'm amazed you're standing still. Taking my kisses back. Yeah, I want my kisses back from you.
11. Money Honey by State of Shock
As I'm staring through this fire, it's too late to make you mine, so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted. And as both of us fall down, we have lost and we have found, so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted. I've made mistakes that I can't erase, I've made mistakes.
12. Please Forgive Me by David Gray
Help me out here, all my words are falling short and there's so much I want to say. Wanna tell you just how good it feels when you look at me that way.
13. Swing Life Away by Rise Against
I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first: let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse. Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words. ALSO: If love is a labor, I'll slave 'til the end.
14. Please by Ludo
Please save this for me. I'll come back for you, love, I promise to. Please save this for me, for until I return. My love will burn, my heart will stay.
15. Steer by Missy Higgins
So hold this feeling like a newborn, all the freedom surging through your veins. You have opened up a new door, so bring on the wind, fire, and rain.
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