Middle school

The first day of lab,
I sit in the front.
I say to myself it's so that I'm so much closer to the door,
But when the rest of the reluctants file in,
They all take the seats farther back,
And everyone's allocated to two-person tables,
But I sit alone at the front of the class.

Shrunk in my seat,
Reluctant to speak,
Hoping the teacher doesn't
Do anything to single me out.
Hey, let's get to know some personal facts .
Hey, let's start up front. "I caught a Snorlax."
OH GOD, did I just blurt out Pokémon?
And yes, my voice cracked
Llike a beaker
On the linoleum tile.

My impression shrinks further,
As eyes dutifully turn.
I give my attention to everyone cooler than me.
And that’s when I see him,
The one across the room.
Laid back and collected,
He glances at me.
His eyes spark like flint
And set my Bunsen burning.
OH GOD, don't let anyone see the flame.
Somebody will laugh
Someone always laughs.
I don’t need to be ousted
Any more than I am.

Just focus on my homework,
No need to make a spectacle
Don’t think about the pressure
He exerts within my... brain.
But I saw it, didn’t I?
The way his lips were curled,
Almost an invitation,
Why aren’t we closer?

When did these things complicate themselves?
When did the chemical reactions in my own body betray me?
I should know by now
How everyone sees me:
Most likely to succeed
If he's not stuffed in a locker and forgotten first.
The teachers say I'm interesting,
The students use another word.
red-shift and blue-shift, I guess.

The science teacher's done with her pet project
And now we've got nothing to do but
Talk until time's up,
Wait for the bell to
Usher us to our next reluctant filing.
I take quick glances at him,
Still on the other end of the room,
Between exchanges with other nerds
About Final Fantasy VII.

This is where I belong.
This posse of poindexters.
Shell myself, say I’m introverted,
Say school is my devotion
When really, I’m just afraid
To mix these chemicals,
To stir something up,
To cause a reaction.

That reminds me, the science fair is only nine months away.