not, where I dream I'm hearing a song that I've never heard before in
my life. I don't know if that's weird, but I think it is pretty weird
that last night I dreamt I was hearing two songs I'd never heard
before in my life, at the same time. My dad was listening to one song
on TV, and I was trying to listen to one on my computer, but I don't
think that I've ever heard either song on the radio or on the Internet
or anything. I think that's a little weird.
We decided we'd go to Williamsburg today. I don't think there's
anything there but colonial stuff, which is bound to be nothing but
education. On the way, I listened to my playlist of music from video
games. I like it because it only has a few songs with words, and the
ones that have words are mostly slow, so I don't have any lyrics to
think about and I can just let my mind drift wherever. I started
thinking about stuff like secret Santa and what I would give everyone
at QSA if they ever did a secret Santa game. I thought of a few
things I'd give people, but they probably don't have secret Santas, so
I don't think that'll be an issue.
I also thought about how I would feel if we got into a car crash and I
survived. I don't know if I would end up in the hospital for my
injuries, but if I did it would be a good excuse to sleep for a
while. I don't know why, but I also thought about the tornadoes in
Nebraska and what life would be like if my mom died in one.
We had breakfast at IHOP. I had the chocolate chip pancakes because I
didn't think anything else sounded very good, and water because I
wasn't very thirsty and didn't want my parents to spend money that
they didn't have to. There was a family next to us that sounded like
they were talking about boob jobs. I guess it's a good thing I
usually eat breakfast alone, because a lot of people I've overheard at
breakfast these past few days have talked about really weird things
like boob jobs, or they just swore a lot for no real reason. I don't
think breakfast is the best time for either of those things, and I'd
probably be uncomfortable sitting with those people.
I'm really trying to stay as unengaged as I can today. I feel like if
I involve myself in any active thought process that I'll end up seeing
something or hearing something that will make me realize that I'm
feeling empty beyond a point that I can be filled right now. I don't
like feeling that way. I don't think anybody does but I feel like
maybe I feel empty more often than others. This sounds a little
weird, but I feel better about life when I don't have to really think
about it, so I go off into daydreams and think about absolutely
nothing and absolutely everything at the same time, and I don't have
to smile and I don't care if I cry. And it's all okay if I just keep
my mind disengaged until I fall asleep and dream about absolutely
nothing and absolutely everything at the same time.
And two songs that I've never heard before in my life are playing at
the same time.
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